Loving Others - tougher than it seems!

Jesus was very clear that we are to love God first and second to love our neighbors (Matthew 22:37-39). In addition, Jesus also told us that we are to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). I have always been able to teach that this is the attitude we are to take toward our neighbors and enemies. However, living it has been much harder for me especially today. As Sara has already blogged about, we are in a hospital room waiting on Anne and Jeff to go into surgery. It would be all fine but their mother is here. Ok let me paint the picture for you. (I think Sara has already talked about some of this) She is only in her mid to late 40's but she looks like she is in her late 60's early 70's. She could be a poster child with the caption "This is what drugs can do to you." She treats this children like they are helpless and babies them as if they are infants.

It is hard for me to find it within me to love this woman. When I stop to think of what she has done to these children it lights a fire within my soul that I want to hate her so bad. I believe in forgiveness when it is asked for (go to http://oabs.org/Archives/Lectures/msop2008.htm and listen to the lesson by Dan Winkler on "The Heart that Shows Mercy"). She thinks she has done nothing wrong but DCS and the state have been on her case since 2004 and yet there is no fault on her side (in her eyes). I believe there will be a special place in hell for those who abuse their children (no matter what type of neglect). I know she will have her day when she stands before God.

I experienced the same feeling when we had Alyssa (4yrs old) and her parents had sexually abuse her (do not get me started on what should happen to those people). There is a part of me that wish bad things on her and then I have to remind myself that she has a soul that is precious to God. I have discovered that preaching is easy but the living part is so much harder. There is a part of me that does wish she would change, clean up her life and get right with God but reality tells me that there is a 99% chance she will never do it. I guess because I see her making no change that it makes me want to hate her.

If I have learned any greater lesson from being a foster parent is that it is easy to say we should love our enemies but it is something completely different to actually live in a world and love your enemies. May God help us all to live what we teach and preach.